Free Spirit

Million Miles

2006-11-13T05:14:00.000Z

I'd love to make you mine

'Cause it's the only way to hold you

In my wild imagination

Still I don't know how

To grab a chance and spend some time in just

A simple conversation

Just give it a try

Though I'm not chasing rainbows in the sky

I wanna hold you in my dreams

And make believe that it's true

Although I know, I know

That it's impossible to do

'Cause you're a star

People love you as you are

You're a million miles away from me

Wish that you were here

'Cause it's illusions everytime you're close to me

And sing me love songs

And it's the only way

I could tell the world I love you

Although you're a million miles away

Just give it a try

Though I'm not chasing rainbows in the sky

I wanna hold you in my dreams

And make believe that it's true

Although I know, I know

That it's impossible to do

'Cause you're a star

You're a star

You're a star

You're a million miles away from me

Sa wakas!!!

2006-11-13T05:04:00.000Z

It’s been a while since I post here. Grabe na miss ko ito, buti na lang at walang firewall ngaun…..so talagang takas lang ito. Sa lumipas na panahon mula nang ako ay nakapagpost, marami ng nangyari sa buhay ko, not that life changing but I learned a lot from the things that I trouble myself with before but at least now I know what things I need to give priorities with. Let us just say that things happens that made me stronger and a better person in those 2 months that passed. I miss this kind of thing, siguro kahit may firewall na I will just keep on writing na lang……..until next tym.

RELAX

2006-08-13T23:48:00.000Z

Di ko na mabilang kung pang ilang attempt ko na itong post na ito, laging di natatapos ang aking pagsusulat, I am always getting pre-occupied by some other worthless things. Well just have to focus more on the things that really matter.

Habang idle ako ngaun sa chat eh naisipan ko munang mag sulat. This day is supposed to be a day that I always dream about, a day to see the fruits of a long hard labor, even if I know that this could really give me so much joy and happiness, I think I would pass the opportunity and continue living with my life even if a big part of it is a lie.

Again I don’t want to think of it that much, I am liking the way my brains work now since it seems to not mind the things that I have already decided, now I am sure that I still has control of my brain, at least the sane part of it. It is a nice feeling to not think of all the things that bother that much, I am getting my peace of mind little by little.

I don’t want to say anything further now, just want to relax that is why I wrote this. There is another one that I met but I don’t know what could come up with this, we are still in the “getting to know” stage eh kahit di na un uso hehehe, ill know sooner or later, ill just keep you posted.

Argue

2006-08-05T22:23:00.000Z

For a change I would like my post to have something that can leave some kind of a message to my readers (if anyone really reads it), probably a message or a lesson that I learned that I just want to share to all. In case that any of my previous posts have done a good thing on anyone who reads it, thank you for understanding whatever it is that I am expressing here, at least I know that there is still sense in me somehow.

Well I don’t know where to start, basically the usual, write about whatever it is that comes in my mind while doing this. Nice song playing now, “Leaving You” by Session Road. This is what I usually do whenever I want to unwind or relax, listen to music, whatever kind or type, just as long as it soothes me and lightens my mood. Music together with my pack of cigarette has been a great remedy for me every time I have nothing else to do or to talk to. They are with me on my ups and down, when no one else is around. We all have our own way in handling ourselves; this is how I handle mine.

Aside from writing this now, listening to songs and smoking, I am also forwarding text messages to my friends now, just the usual deal, I don’t want them to miss me eh. Some friends are also texting me now, exchanging gossips, exchanging thoughts, arguing, this is also a way for me to relax. You may think that it is weird but there is something about debating or arguing that releases my tension (though it adds more most of the time) it is like a mind exercise for me like solving crossword puzzles and the like.

Isn’t it nice to have someone to talk to about anything? There will be no dull moment if you know someone that you can challenge to fight over what he/she believes in, someone who just doesn’t agree to whatever you say just to flatter you or anything, someone who can defend at what they believe in. Just remember to have an open mind all the time to whatever the other party is sharing, you can never tell if you’ve just been blinded by what you believe in. There is nothing wrong if that happened, that is the good thing about arguments, you can never tell which is wrong or right since all of what we believe though a lot came from all the years of studying are really based on what we have experienced in life. That is the beauty of living, you learn something new all the time, though one can’t see it initially at times, it will learn its way through our hearts and mind eventually.

For whatever reason I can’t seem to formulate any other thing to talk about for now. It seems that I failed in leaving something new to you but I hope that you have an open mind to let me try again next time when I fees like it again. Ciao for now and always try to make the best out of whatever shit you are in.

NEW ONE

2006-08-01T23:50:00.000Z

A start of a new month, hopefully this one is better than the other months specially July. I have nothing against July, in fact I love it since that is my birth month but there just some not so good things that happened that I am still feeling its effects on me. Where will I start? Do I want to talk about it again? I guess I do, I just need to breathe out these feelings that I have now.

First thing that concerns me is the health of the people that are close to me, to my hearth and the people who are also close to them. So this includes my family and my friends and also to their family members. No matter how hard a persons problem is, if it is not anything about health then I think that person is still lucky, he could easily overcome any trials if he/she feels well right?

Next thing is about money. I know I have a job but it doesn’t rally pay that well, but still okay I guess, it’s just that what I am doing for the work and the title perhaps of my job shouldn’t be mine if you look at my payslip on the 10th or the 25th. Don’t want to talk about it that much, ill just try to perform better to have at least a change on this situation. Ill also try to spend my little money wiser unless of course necessary like for medicines, etc…haaay….

Next one is about love. Nothing grand about this, let me just say this, love grows and fade if there is no effort done to make it last. Just that statement and perhaps this one also, no matter how difficult and painful it is, the happiness it brings can’t be compared to anything.

Probably the last thing that I have in mind to pay attention more is the way I trust other people or should I say the way I allow them easily to get into my life. Though it seems that there is nothing wrong with this, it is that sometimes I can’t bear the abuse and the betrayal of some that I thought was real to me. I know these are hard words to say, even I can’t really say that I was treated that way, but that is what I felt.

I’m not sure about what really happened, I just found out one day that my friends that I thought and considered family doesn’t really trust me that much. I am not sure what made them think that way, it just really saddens me. The fact that I treated them so close and dear to me in the short time that we are together seems not enough. I understand them in a way, you can’t easily trust someone no matter how strong the bond is, you just really need to depend and trust yourself in the end.

If ever they are reading this, obviously I don’t feel good about what I heard but I totally understand where you are coming from, I just hoped that I would be able to earn that trust. On my part, nothing as changed, love you all still and whatever happens, just remember that I am here.

What a past 7 months it has been, I am hoping that the rest of the year can give me a better chance at living this fantastic thing called life.

Birth

2006-07-29T01:31:00.000Z

The past few days has been a blast, I turned a year older and eventually stronger and wiser. It has been one of those memorable birthdays that even there is not much of food and drinks, I felt loved. Even if not all my friends remember to greet me, it’s still okay and I understand them, it is not the end of anything between us anyway. But for those who remembered me on that day, my heart felt thank you.

There was something about birthdays that I only realized now, it brings me sadness, a sadness that I never felt before. There really was no excitement on my part, probably because of the things that I am experiencing, with all the problems and all. It made me think of the things that never really happened to me. It is not regret or anything since I really have no way to change the situation before, what I am saying is about my father, what if he never left us. This is the question or should I say the thought that was on my head days before the day of my birth.

As far as I recall, this is one of the few times that I ever thought of that, what if we are complete? I know that it never really is a big deal if we are or we are not since I never really considered myself unlucky or anything without a father guiding me while growing up, it is just that the thought of having someone to help you with tough times is really a relief. It would be nice to know that you are not the only one that will have to sacrifice a lot for your family, nice to know that there is another person that could handle your load when you have nothing else to give. A lot of things could have changed in my life, my mom’s life and all that is close to us if only we are complete, if my dad became responsible enough for his actions, but I will never know.

I will give this thought a rest for now. I wanted to know all the answers to all my questions about this but I think time can only let me be at peace with this. Still I believe that no matter what happens, it is for a reason, I will prevail, I will be victorious. With the help of my limited family and to all my friends, and of course the highest being of all, I know I can make it, we can all make it. I just like to thank you all again and you God for this life and please more years to come….

OTHER

2006-07-22T22:02:00.000Z

After all the things that happened, after all the things that I thought I realized, I never thought that I will still have this feelings for you, it just became stronger. I don’t know why, even if I am so mad at you for the things that you do and the things that you don’t do, I fell deeper within you. Even if I despise your attitude of being so insensitive, inconsiderate and ungrateful about what I feel, still I love you more. It sickens me to feel this way, but I guess it is just really out of my control, just like when I first felt this feeling towards you, but I guess this is the right time to take matters into my own hands. I know I’ve been unfair and all, but common, you did your part as well, it always takes two to tango and everything has it end.

This is not the first time that we said our goodbyes, but let as make this the last one, for the better. You don’t know me at all, you just have a glimpse me, just a part of the real me, the side of me that I only let you see, the side that I know that you will like, the side that I know that you will love. It is not that I am totally different person from the way you know me, but what I am saying is that if you would know the real me, then maybe there is no us, definitely. The irony of this is that I’ve never been this honest to anyone else and to myself before until now, now that I let that side of me known. But I guess we just both didn’t see the truthfulness in each other even after everything that we’ve been through. We always wanted more and always have our guards up to hide the real us. We never got contented with what we have, with what we could give each other, we keep on asking for more, we always want to exceed our limits. The problem with this is the pressure that we put on each other, no matter how hard I try to adhere with what you want, there is just so much that I can give, just like you.

To be honest, I really don’t know if you’ve been true to all that you said to me. It doesn’t really matter now. I’ll just let myself believe that you did care, that you really did love me. But there is still this side of me that really want to know what you really felt, so I guess if you would be able to read this, just let me know.

I don’t want to prolong this anymore. I just want to let my feelings free, be heard at least, I’ve been lost all this time, in this part of my journey I failed to be in control. I even didn’t recognize myself anymore and it even came to the point that I don’t even know me anymore. This is probably the best time to retreat, not because I didn’t win this battle but I think it is best to let me be me. I want to be familiar with the things that I am really capable off, I want to know the new and improved me. As I always say, no regrets, so thank you for bringing things that I never knew I have, thanks for everything and I hope you all the best in life. I promise with the beer on my hand now and the cigarette I put down on the ash tray, I will always be here, still more than a friend.

Truth

2006-07-17T03:28:00.002Z

Its been a while since my last post, MIS kc sa opis eh pati ba naman ito kelangang I blocked, mali na ito. Anyway I don’t want to talk about that further, baka lang makapatay ako (joke). The past few days ay masaya nman, I naka complete ako ng 1 week na pasok sa opis at may WORD pa…nawawala na onti ang katamaran ko, kahit papaano bumabalik na rin ang masaya kong paguugali at ang smile sa mga labi ko…. Hindi naman sa nawala cya or anything pero ngaun kasi di kagaya nung dati na sobrang sad lagi itsura ko, gulo gulo ng isip ko at sobrang tulala ako, ngaun though wala namang masyadong nagbago pa sa status ng mg problems, at least medyo kaya na, just live with it ikaw nga...go for the gold hehehe.

Ngayon naman may naisip lang ako, when is the best time to say no or when to say its over? Para sa akin napaka hirap kasi sabihin yang mga salitang yan. Aside from the fact na makakasakit ka ng damdamin, di ko lang talaga ugali mag turn down ng tao. Parang napaka bait ko noh, pero ganito lang talaga me. Siguro dahil alam ko lang ang pakiramdam ng nadidisapoint. Pero cyempre kahit gaano pa ka busilak ang loob ko eh dapat mag set din ako ng limit, I need to know when to draw the line. Kahit sa mga simpleng bagay lang like sa mga taong hingi ng hingi yosi, fud, utos, etc para di naman sila umabuso. Pero yan ay para sa mga simpleng bagay lang, sa mga ganoong pagkakataon madali dali pa ang humindi, pero paano na sa isang relasyon?

Paano pag ikaw ay with someone, first few months ay okay, expected kasi simula eh, but eventually dami ng nagbago. Given the fact na pareho kayong may work, have your own responsibilities sama mo na ang pera matters, is this reason enough na di kayo mag meet madalas? Okay lang sana eh, at least naiinitindihan ko, pero sana naman may mkitang effort diba. Kaso kadalasan wala eh. Ang ibig sabihin ko is din a nga kayo nagkikita eh bihira pa kayo mag kausap, kahit sa text, chat, email or whatever. Sasabihing busy sa work, sira ang cell, etc. daming rason. Napagusapan na naman ito before, na talagang hook siya sa work nya, bibo eh pero sana naman diba….sana lang kahit papaano ay makapaiwan cya ng mail sayo kahit isa lang saying na nasa office na siya or something…ewan ko ba…ngaun naman pareho na nga ng sked, chat kayo ganyan, pero naman 10 years kung sumagot and of course dahil sa busy sa work…. Ewan ko kung nagkakahiyaan lang kami kaya di kami makakalas or naghihintayan lang kami na talagang may mag open sa tunay na ngyayari. Aminado ako, mahal ko pa rin naman cya pero aanhin ko un kung ganito lang diba, it may just be not enough.

Continuing about that, marahil dahil na rin sa ganyang pangyayari kaya siguro di maiwasan na makakita ng iba. Sadya man o hindi ang nangyari, nagawa ko na, masaya naman at kahit papaano ay okay naman ang mga naganap. Wala akong pinasisihan, I know I am unfair to just think about my own happiness but I think I deserve that. If ever malaman nya yan, la ako pagsisishan, aaminin ko, din a kelangang i-deny. Parang hinihintay ko pa nga yang time na i confront nya ako, alam ko feel na nya na nagbago ako, sana lang gumawa cya ng paraan kung talagang gus2 pa nya, as of my part, I did try my best pa, napagod lang me.Whatever may happen sana naman maging okay, im juts waiting for the right time para ma ayos ito. Sorry sa iyo kung nagging ganito ako, kasalanan ko rin naman. Just remember na I will always love you………

REALITY

2006-07-10T23:14:00.000Z

I just want to write whatever I am thinking now, I am so depressed, just had a couple of beer and it just gives me the right kick to write this. Maybe you are wondering why, but maybe you already know why I am like this, it is because I am in love (I think, sometimes I really don’t know what is it anymore). Well maybe you are thinking why being in love can be such a headache, (to be honest I really don’t know, obviously I am not an expert that is why I am writing this), but who cares? The pain and aches it gives is nothing compared to the happiness it gives someone once in this state. Well, you know that this is not a rare case, perhaps there could even be more people having a bad time with love than those who aren’t, so join me in the club. I am really broken hearted now, (isn’t it obvious?). Well this is not a new thing for me but that is why I am wondering why I am being affected like this. Maybe because of the intensity of what I am feeling and aside from that, this is the first time that I really did something about it. I am not saying that I never had a relationship before, I did, actually I still am in a relationship but all those past relationships either just had me going with the flow or the real feelings just manifested after being together, it just developed (sorry for my partner now but what I feel about you now is still love, I think).

Going back, the difference with this one is I really did make a move to know the ”other person” better. I am not really the type that does courting and stuff so this is a big step for me. Eventually the “other person” got to know a part of me better and leads to a better relationship, the next step as some may say. I am happy with that even though there really is a big factor missing, the togetherness. Let us just put it this way, we can’t be seen together, something to that effect (who ever that is reading this now that knows my past affairs or relationship, the “other person” that I am talking about is not my last affair, just to be clear). It really is hard to suppress the feelings that you have for a person especially when you know that you deserve more. I’ve been strong enough before to show my true feelings so I know how happy I could be especially if that feeling will be reciprocated (no regrets) but this is just more though than that. Needless to say, I just sit here and just let everything unfold itself unto me, I really didn’t do my best to win this battle. As much as I wanted to, I just can’t, I just am not ready, doesn’t have the courage for it, a wimp perhaps but that is just me for now.

Until the day comes when I can feel, think that the “other person” is just slipping away from me, I am losing control of whatever situation we had before, just flowing out of your hands like water in on your palm in the faucet. It is just so frustrating seeing everything that you worked for just passing by at you, like a movie on your player, it is showing a good part but somehow you just can’t understand it and you want to pause it and rewind it but you just doesn’t have the capability. That is right, I don’t have the power, not just the courage to stop it but I think I already doesn’t have the right to do anything about it anymore. Well this maybe the price that I have to pay but not having the balls to go for what I really want, just my bad.

To cut the story short, I will probably just end up giving up the “other person”. The “other person” deserves far better things in life than what I could offer, and at the least I owe the “other person” this, I just want the “the other person” happiness that I know I can’t give. Well I am thinking that there is really nothing else to do about it but just go through it no matter how hard and painful it is. I just hope that I have realized this sooner to lessen this hardship that I am feeling but I guess I just really didn’t mind whatever outcome it gives, I am more to the thrill and the short happiness that I know I will cherish for a long time. No one to blame about this, including me, this has been a learning experience for me and I just hope that even if the end doesn’t favor me that much, I just want to look back at this in the future as one of the things that made me a better person.

CONSTANTLY

2006-07-10T07:14:00.000Z

Constantly

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven't known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong
Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

CHORUS:
Constantly, you're on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can't sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking 'bout you
Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you're seeing each and every day
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend
When I know that's not where I want it to end
How could this be wrong
When the feeling's so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

CHORUS 2X

No I don't want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I'm going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

Alarm

2006-07-09T22:47:00.000Z

If you happen to read my post last time, then you will see a change through my phase, I was happy that time and contented. I know it is a great feeling but eventually at the back of my mind, I don’t want to admit the happiness with in because I know that times like this wont last, or should I say that on a happy feeling bad things always follow. Well it serves my instinct well enough because yesterday when I was waiting for a few minutes to log out and rest since it is so hot outside, I received a text message from my cousin saying that my Lola was rushed in the hospital again….I felt numb and coldness covered my body. I don’t want to believe it, I thought that they just want me home early so that Nanay will not wonder around her thoughts looking for me in her mind, but I know my cousin will not play a joke regarding Nanay’s health. But still I asked her if she really is telling the truth, well indeed she was and she even added that we need some blood donors for Nanay. She has a very low blood pressure and her diabetes is kind of maturing or having some complications. As of now, she is back home resting when I left earlier, we are waiting for the results of the tests of her blood and still she will undergo some more test later. I just hope that everything will be fine in the end, I just don’t want to think about any other things about her because I don’t know how to go on with out her (knock 3x), she is more that a grandma to me, she is responsible in raising me even if my mother is around, she is just great, incomparable simply the best. I haven’t told this much but I love you and thank you for everything, don’t worry everything will be alright.

Peace

2006-07-09T01:17:00.000Z

Well, parang ang ganda ng araw na to, not that great but at least parang at peace ako kahit may sakit. I never felt this light and happy for the past few weeks. Sana naman mag patuloy itong ganitong pakiramdam ng medyo matagal tagal, nag kaka wrinkles kc ako pag sad hehehehe…Siguro nagka roon lang ng realization on my part, sana tumagal ang mind set ko na ganito…..wala pa akong masyadong masabi, I feel great, happy, contented for now, and I hope that it will continue for the days to come…..try ko ulit post later….HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEVS…….

Before I Let You Go

2006-07-08T05:42:00.000Z

Before I Let You Go

Freestyle

I can still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that you loved me
Made me feel oh so right
But now I feel lost, don't know what to do
Each and every day I think of you
Holdin' back the tears, I'm trying with all my might

Refrain:
Because you've gone and left me standing All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow On my own....
But baby....

Chorus:

Before I let you go
I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listenin' 'Coz it'strue,baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do,
yeah So before I let you go
I want to say it.....
I love you

Interlude:
I wish that it could be just like before
I know I could've given you so much more
Even though you know I'd given you all my love
I miss your smile, I miss your kiss
Each and every day I reminisce
'Coz baby it's you That I'm always dreaming of...

Repeat Refrain
Repeat Chorus (except last 3 words)

Bridge:
Letting love go is never easy
But I love you so That's why I set you free And I know
Someday
Somehow
I'll find a way To leave it all behind me
Guess it wasn't meant to be But baby.........

Repeat chorus (except last 3 words)
So before I let you go I want to say.......it I love you

Another

2006-07-08T01:54:00.000Z

May lagnat pa din ako pero kelangang pumasok, la na leave, bawas pa grade la na sweldo pag ganun…tiis na lang muna ako….dahil sa sakit na ito, naisip ko pang mag beer kagabi thinking na baka mawala ang sakit, nangyari na kasi sa akin ang ganun before eh, malay ko kung effective ulit. But the truth is that is just the reason I told my mom why I want a drink right after I got home. Trip ko lang, kasi mainit eh at para masarap tulog cguro sa gabi….di pa rin ako nakaligtas sa aking pag mumuni muni…..naisip ko lang, there are things that are so close to your reach, things that you really like to have but they just seem so far from your grasp, whatever you do, whatever you try, you just cant really get it. Isn’t it frustrating? The feeling that you almost have it, even if it is just a chance, a chance at it, who knows if your happiness is at stake, but you just really can’t have it, you have thought about it a lot but there are factors that really can’t let you be. It is because of these factors that sometimes we ask, if only……If only I am different, if only I did things differently, if only that, if only this….there are a lot of things that we hope that we didn’t do, things that somehow make us think what if? Then regret comes in. Regret of not doing things the other way around when you have the chance. But what is wrong with that? No one can tell what could have happened if you choose to go the other way right? Even if you give it all your thought and even the smartest person can’t eventually tell you what the best path for you is, you are the only one that can really give yourself happiness, the one that will know whether you really live your life to the fullest, the one who can tell if you are contented or not…..just know what you want and have the courage to get to your goal, no matter what happened, even if it is too close to your reach but still didn’t get it, at least you know that you tried your best to achieve it, no regrets folks. … Life is just full of mysteries, I don’t know if what I am saying here makes any sense to you, and to me for that matter, I am happy now that at least I know amidst all that is happening in me now, I still find the soul in me to see the brighter future ahead.

Tattoed On My Mind

2006-07-07T03:41:00.000Z

Maybe you soon forget about all

or maybe you'll miss it like I do

one thing's for sure:

I'm all knocked out

spend too much time thinking of you

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Now I know that you're the dangerous kind

and your smile is tattooed on my mind

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Don't wanna write, I don't wanna call,

- I would not know what to say

It should be you, that's how I want it to be

Tell me you feel the same way

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Now I know that you're the dangerous kind

and your smile is tattooed on my mind

and I can't get you out of my dreams

Oh, yesterday I was feeling safe

All I do today is trying to be brave

And no melody can seem to soothe my mind

And now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Now I know that you're the dangerous kind

and your face is tattooed on my mind

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Yes I know you're tatooed on my mind you're tatooed.....

DAHIL IKAW

2006-07-07T01:37:00.000Z

sa piling ba niya ikaw ay

may lungkot na nararamdaman

damdamin mo ba'y hindi maintindihan

at sa tuwing ako ang

nasa iyong isipan

may nakita ka ba na ibang kasiyahan

refrain:

nandito lang ako

naghihintay sa iyo

na mapansin ang aking damdamin

na para lang sa iyo (oohh...oohhh...)

chorus 1:

dahil ikaw ang sigaw ng puso ko

ikaw ang nasa isip ko

ang nais ko ay malaman mo

na ikaw ang tanging pangarap ng buhay

pag-ibig ko sa iyo ibibigay

nais ko ay malaman mo (wooh...woooh...wooh...)

na mahal kita

Sa piling ba niya ikaw ay

may sakit na nararamdaman

damdamin mo ba ay sinasaktan

at sa tuwing ako ang

nasa iyong panaginip

na tayong dalawa masayang magkapiling

(repeat refrain & chorus 1)

sana'y pagbigyan ang nadaramang ito

sana masabi mo na mahal mo rin ako

chorus 2:

dahil ikaw ang sigaw ng puso ko

ikaw ang nasa isip ko

ang nais ko ay malaman mo

na ikaw ang tanging pangarap ng buhay

pag-ibig ko sa iyo ibibigay

nais ko ay malaman mo (wooh...woooh...wooh...)

na mahal kita (ikaw ang sigaw ng puso)

na mahal kita (ikaw ang nasa isip ko)

na mahal kita (ikaw ang sigaw ng puso)

na mahal kita (ikaw ang nasa isip ko)

UPDATE

2006-07-06T23:55:00.000Z

Maraming ngyari ng mga nakaraang araw, happy and sad, the usual, as much as na ayaw ko pang mag sulat about sa mga malulungkot na bagay la pa ako masulat na maganda eh kaya tuloy ko lang muna….masama pakiramdam ko ngaun, dahil sa sipon at ubo na ewan ko ba 10 years na ito sa katawan ko di mawalawala….kc naman sobrang adik sa yosi eh kaya dir in mawala…anyways, off ko kahapon, nuod lang TV, CD at natulog, dapat punta kami sm ni mama kaso tinamad ako kaya din a me sumama…..nothing out of the ordinary happened, at wala rin naman kc akong ginawa maghapon eh kaya cguro ganun…pero nung gabi na, the depression came again, I don’t know nga eh topak talaga ako….i’ll not go not go into the details na lang para wala ng matamaan….Basta isang di kagandahang desisyon ang naganap, I just have to accept it na lang and still look forward in the future.Wala na rin naman akong magagawa eh, even if it try to fix things up, I know that this will still be the outcome of this, I am just delaying the agony of it so what the hell, let it be…..ill just wait for another opportunity that hopefully will come soon. Sad lang talaga ng ngyari….anyways, ayan may naisip na akong good point about this post, I am happy parin pala kc alam kong may mga kaibigan akong maaasahan sa oras ng kagipitan….ang mga taong matiyagang umuunawa sa akin at nakikisama kt ano pa man ako, kht cno pa ako….maraming salamat sa inyo……thanks for being there always……alam kong may kanya kanya tayong problems now but at least nakakaya natin dba…..love you all……hangang d2 na lang muna po……til next tym.

Pangarap

2006-07-04T04:06:00.000Z

Pangarap by Barbie

Minsan pa
Nang ako'y napalingon
Hindi ko alam
Na ika'y tutugon

Sa mga tanong na
Aking nabitawan
Hindi ko alam
Kung ito'y totoo

Pangarap ka
Sa bawat sandali
Langit man
Ang tingin ko
Sayo sana'y marating

Hanggang dito na lang yata
Ang kaya kong gawin
Mangarap na lang
At bumulong sa hangin

Kailan kaya
Darating ulit ang isang
Sandali
Na ako'y lilingon muli

Pangarap ka
O tinig mong kay lamig
Ang iyong mga ngiti
Na sa akin ay
Nakapagbigay pansin

Pangarap ka
O tinig mong kay lamig
Ang iyong mga ngiti
Na sa akin ay
Nakapagbigay...

Pangarap ka
O tinig mong kay lamig
Ang iyong mga ngiti
Na sa akin ay
Nakapagbigay pansin

Chain

2006-07-04T01:02:00.000Z

Umaga na naman, trabaho na agad di pa nga sumusikat ang araw nasa work ka na…..Ganito talaga ang buhay, kelangang kumita kahit barya lang may maipantawid lang sa araw araw….. Wala namang bago sa opis, dami pa ring call, kahit nga nagging madasalin ko na para lang maging idle, wala pa rin dami pa ring calls. Ganyan talga life, dami calls la magagawa, support na lang. Kaso pasaway pa ang mga clients na makukuha mo, bibo bibuhan pa kainis…..Well ganito pa rin takbo d2 sa opis, call, aux yosi, call, lunch with yosi then call,then aux yosi tapos oout na….sana walang OT hehehehe. Di naman ganun ka boring, may kachikahan ka naman na katabi mo or ka email na tutulong sayo na di mabore, sana lang mabilis cla mag reply para di mawala ang momentum mo sa pag sagot. Kakainis d2 sa opis kc kamakailan lang tinanglan kami ng access for emailing other people outside our domain. Kainis kc naman pati ba naman yun, yun na nga lang ang means ng communication mo outside sa mga friends mo tatangalin pa….sana ung may messenger man lang kaso wala rin, pahirapin pang maghanap ng proxy. They just really don’t care that much to what their employees would feel about their new procedures, sana magising cla na napaka rami ng magagaling na nag resign d2, dami ng nasayang. Enough about that, ummmmm la na rin akong masabi, I lost my chain of thoughts because may call na naman ako…..mamaya na ako ulit sulat, I just want to say for now na we are all responsible for whatever actions that we make, live with it or just face the concequences…. Ang gulo ko no, wlang sense hehehe……..later

Bad day

2006-07-03T05:04:00.000Z

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sad

2006-07-03T04:02:00.000Z

I feel so sad right now…..I don’t know why but I am just not in the mood. Seldom that you will see me this way, I an known to always have a smile in my face whatever the situation is but this is not one of those happy days, that is why when you see me not smiling you can easily tell that I have a problem. Well who doesn’t have one? I am used to having problems all my life but at least before I can easily hide them with my smile, my personality of being cheerful and joyful always works as my mask to conceal all unhappy thoughts or problems that I have, it helps me not to think too much of what will happen to me in the future. But why is it failing me now? This problem that I have now is not that serious compared to other issues that I had before and I have experienced this type before but it never bothered me this much….well at least I am having a chance to check my thoughts, review the things that I did before and eventually evaluate the choices I made and probably, hopefully, this will lead me to figure out the best action that I can do to relieve me of this burden….(I cant disclose my problem yet……maybe some other writing)………………..

Waste

2006-07-02T22:50:00.000Z

Well to start with, me and my friends watched Superman Returns but I failed to see it, well at the least most of it. We were unable to reserve seats for an early screening and the only good available seats are that of the last full show which will eventually finish very late or you can say very early in the morning, so we chose the not so late one but we all have to seat away from each other…..there is nothing wrong with that for me since I usually prefer being alone at watching films anyway. Needless to say, the film starts, Clark returning back here at earth from I don’t know where tapos ang natatandaan ko ng scene is ung niligtas nya ung plane etc and the last thing I remember is ung isisave nya can Louis kay Lex, then after that, puro ung mga pangalan na ang nakita ko, nakatulog nap ala ako…….sayang lang ang hrap ng papali palit ng mall, ang pag hihintay sa time ng palabas, ang perang pinang panood at pagkain sa somethings fishy……pero kht papaano, aircon ang tinulugan ko, kht nakaupo at nakasama ko ang aking mga kaibigan sa gabing iyon…lalo na ang aking best na miss na miss ko na…..

Panimula...

2006-07-01T05:34:00.000Z

La lang ako magawa kaya e2 ako nag try mag start ng ganito, sana lang ma update ko cya palagi. I am Orville, just an average person living in this wonderful world, just living my own life. There are a lot of things that I want to do but there are just things that you really can’t accomplish even if you put your best foot forward. I am not a pessimist, I don’t lose hope easily but I just know where I stand now. I hope that there will come a time that I will be able to eat these words again and say it to the whole world that “I made it”, but until then I’ll just let it be. Hope the future is better for me, my family and friends and to all of us……..until then….